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“I'm just a man with a blade...” — Altairs famous song in the musical
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Assassins Creed: The Musical is a musical composed entirely by Joel. The musical has been called "The greatest thing since Joel's Ski Resort Movie."

Plot Edit

The plot of the musical is simple. It is just a retelling of Assassins Creeds plot except in song and sometimes in interpretive dance. It stars Altair (played by Joel Rubin) trying to win back the trust of Al Mualim (played by Lawrence Sonntag) and defeat his rival Robert De Sable (played by Adam Kovic). He has to assassinate nine people and discovers a hidden Templar plot and Altair has to stop it...through the power of song.

Cast Edit

  • Altair ibn-La'Ahad (played by Joel Rubin) - Altair is just a man with a blade. he is an assassin in fact. He stopped his rival Robert De Sable from taking an artifact from a temple but pissed off Al Mualim in the process. Al Mualim deranked him to novice and he has to go up the ranks again. Will he be able to do it?
  • Al Mualim (played by Lawrence Sonntag) - Al Mualim is the leader of the Levantine Brotherhood. He gets pissed at Altair and deranks him. He is secretly a Templar as you find out and he holds the Apple of Eden.
  • Robert De Sable (played by Adam Kovic)- A French Templar and rival to Altair. He starts shit up and rats out Al Mualim as a Templar to Altair.
  • Background Assassins (played by Bruce Greene and James Willems) - These guys just sing and dance in the background but sometimes help Altair on his quest.

Song Lyrics Edit

I'm just a man with a blade

On a Crusade

And I'm in the land of the Jews and the Muslims

And I'm here killing guys

With my assassins eyes

Samples of the Musical Edit

Critics Response Edit

The typical response to the musical is orgasmic. A majority of people experienced orgasms while watching the musical and many died from having too much pleasure from the musical. The movie won all of the Tonys a musical can possibly win for 20 years straight. Many critics, who didn't kill themselves after watching Joel's Ski Resort Movie, killed themselves after watching this.

Trivia Edit

  • Assassins Creed: The Musical and Joels Ski Resort Movie have never been shown back to back because of fears that it would cause the end of the universe.
  • Vladimir Putin and Chuck Norris both cried while watching this and they then had gay sex with each other.
  • Micheal Jordan has been called the Joel Rubin of Basketball.
  • When this play was been broadcasted into space several alien species emerged and submitted themselves to us because they could never be able to achieve something as great as this.